GreatEssays!
Great Conclusions
You are almost done. Pull it all together, and leave a lasting impression.
Example 1
The Physics of Snowboarding
Matthew A.
There are many technical aspects you have to master in order to become a proficient snowboarder. You need to distribute your balance and use all parts of the board. You need to be able to judge your speed and to use your weight to make sharp turns or immediate stops. In order to defy the laws of physics, you need to put in the hours and hard work. This means going out to practice on the coldest days, even though you stayed up too late the night before.
When approaching a jump, I am totally focused. I keep my eyes locked on the obstacle ahead. I kick off and begin to accelerate. My knees buckle as I tense my legs. I gather speed. The trees at the edge of the run disappear in a blur. There is a final moment of panic and then clarity. I push off. For a short moment, I overcome gravity, I am weightless, rising through the air. In fact I feel part of the air, of the wind that carries me. I am flying.
This conclusion is powerful and impactful for several reasons, making it an excellent end to a college admission essay:
Metaphor for Personal Growth: The detailed description of snowboarding isn’t just about the sport; it serves as a metaphor for personal growth, discipline, and the pursuit of excellence. Snowboarding requires mastering both technical skills and overcoming fear, just as Matthew might be mastering the challenges of his own personal development. This parallel between snowboarding and personal growth shows Matthew's ability to handle challenges in his life.
Dynamic and Vivid Imagery: The detailed and vivid description of the snowboarding process, particularly the moment before and during the jump, creates a sense of motion and excitement. The imagery of the "blurr[ed]" trees, the "moment of panic and then clarity," and the feeling of "flying" through the air makes the experience come to life for the reader. This helps create a memorable, engaging ending to the essay that leaves the reader feeling the exhilaration and freedom Matthew is experiencing.
Symbolism of Flight: The feeling of "flying" is an important symbol here. Flight represents freedom, transcendence, and reaching new heights. This moment symbolizes Matthew’s aspirations and the way he views the college experience: as an opportunity to soar and explore new possibilities. The transition from fear to clarity mirrors how he handles uncertainty in his life, showing he can embrace challenges with confidence.
Connection to the Reader: The use of the second person narrative, the pronoun “you,” brings the reader into the experience. Matthew allows the admissions officer to vicariously feel the exhilaration of the jump. This immersive quality makes his personal experience resonate more deeply.
Cohesiveness and Resolution: The conclusion brings the reader full circle—from the technical aspects of snowboarding to the exhilarating feeling of flying. It shows that Matthew understands the balance between hard work, discipline, and the rewards that come from pushing past fear. This completeness and resolution suggest that he is not only reflective but ready for the challenges and opportunities ahead.
In summary, this conclusion is effective because it uses a vivid, dynamic experience (snowboarding) to symbolize personal growth, resilience, and mastery. Matthew’s ability to combine technical skills with emotional clarity and fearlessness makes him seem capable of tackling challenges both on and off the slopes. The moment of “flying” serves as a metaphor for achieving one’s goals and taking on new opportunities, making it a compelling and inspiring conclusion to the essay.
Example 2
Cooking Up a Storm
Nick R.
In finance, much like in cooking, success requires both dedication and attention to detail. You need to prepare, anticipate hardships and be ready to adjust when things change. Just as I always have a plan B in the kitchen—whether it’s a backup dish if the food burns, or a different approach if my recipe doesn’t come together. And just like I’ve done in the kitchen, I’m confident that I’ll be able to adapt, learn and create something meaningful with the resources I’ve been given. The meal is finally ready. My mom calls us to the table. I can hear the pride in her voice. Watching her set the table and serve us food, I realize this is more than just dinner. Each dish represents our Colombian heritage and the memories we’ve made in this space. It’s a tradition that brings us together.
This conclusion is great for several reasons:
Strong Metaphor for Personal Development: The comparison between finance and cooking is powerful and engaging. It shows that Nick has a deep understanding of the skills required for success in finance and the ability to relate these skills to something personal and meaningful. By using the kitchen as a metaphor, Nick demonstrates that he understands the importance of preparation, adaptability, and resilience—qualities that are essential in both life and his chosen field of study. The metaphor of cooking allows him to connect personal experience with professional ambition in a relatable way.
Personal Reflection and Cultural Connection: The reflection on how the meal represents more than just food, but a tradition tied to his Colombian heritage, adds emotional depth to the essay. It’s a moment of cultural pride and connection to his family. This is important because it shows that Nick values his background and acknowledges the significance of family traditions. It highlights his ability to appreciate the role that culture plays in his life while demonstrating how this cultural grounding influences his goals and perspectives.
Adaptability and Problem-Solving: The reference to always having a "Plan B" in the kitchen demonstrates Nick’s proactive, problem-solving approach. Whether dealing with a burnt dish or a finance-related challenge, Nick is ready to adjust and overcome obstacles. This adaptability is crucial not only in academics and professional life but also in personal growth. It shows Nick is both practical and resourceful, traits that will serve them well in college and beyond.
Conclusion with Personal Meaning: The line "Watching her set the table and serve us food, I realize this is more than just dinner" provides a heartwarming, reflective moment. It shows that Nick is capable of stepping back and appreciating the broader significance of everyday experiences. By recognizing the deeper meaning in the act of sharing a meal, Nick demonstrates emotional intelligence and an understanding of the importance of family, tradition, and connection. It ties back to Nick's cultural background while also linking his personal values to his future goals.
Final reflection: By concluding with the statement, "I’m confident that I’ll be able to adapt, learn and create something meaningful with the resources I’ve been given," Nick leaves the reader with a sense of optimism and readiness for the future. This final reflection combines Nick’s personal growth with his professional aspirations, showing that he is prepared to take on challenges and use his skills to achieve success.
In summary, this conclusion is effective because it ties together Nick’s personal journey, cultural heritage, and professional aspirations. The cooking metaphor is cleverly used to demonstrate adaptability, preparation, and resilience, while the reflection on family and tradition adds emotional depth. Nick’s ability to connect his personal values with his future goals makes the conclusion both reflective and forward-looking, leaving a lasting, impactful impression.
Example 3
Finding a Balance
Elias E.
My summer visits to Morocco have given me the gift of a global perspective. They have opened my eyes to the vast inequities in the world but also to all the opportunities that are out there to make this world a better and more equitable place. But what will I do with this gift? My uncle’s water initiative has shown me how impactful the efforts of even a single motivated individual can be. I know I have the will to make a difference — what I lack is the knowledge. As I look ahead to the next four years, I feel compelled to continue my journey of self-exploration and education so that I hopefully can also become an agent of meaningful change.
This conclusion stands out for several reasons:
Clear Reflection and Self-Awareness: Elias reflects on his personal growth and the insights he's gained from his experiences in Morocco, showing a deep understanding of how those experiences have shaped his worldview. The phrase "the gift of a global perspective" reveals a sense of gratitude and recognition for the value of these formative experiences.
Connection to a Larger Purpose: The mention of "the vast inequities in the world" followed by a focus on the opportunities to make a difference reflects Elias’s awareness of global challenges and his desire to be part of the solution. This demonstrates maturity and a strong sense of social responsibility, qualities that are valued in college admissions.
Concrete Example of Impact: By referencing his uncle’s water initiative, Elias provides a specific example of how individual efforts can have a meaningful impact. This example not only highlights Elias’s exposure to real-world efforts for positive change but also shows the influence it had on him, reinforcing the idea that he's seen what is possible when one person takes action.
Honest Assessment of Strengths and Areas for Growth: The line “I know I have the will to make a difference — what I lack is the knowledge” is both honest and humbling. Elias acknowledges his ambition and drive but also recognizes that there’s more he needs to learn. This self-awareness suggests that he is both confident and open to growth, which is an attractive quality for college admissions committees.
Forward-Looking Vision: The sentence "As I look ahead to the next four years..." transitions the essay into a forward-thinking statement. It shows that Elias is already thinking about how his experiences and education will shape his future. This forward momentum signals that Elias is goal-oriented and excited about the potential for growth in the next stage of his life.
In summary, this conclusion is special because it effectively ties together Elias’s past experiences, current motivations, and future aspirations. It demonstrates reflection, ambition, and a commitment to personal growth and societal impact, all while clearly articulating the role that education will play in achieving those goals. It leaves the reader with a sense of purpose and determination, suggesting that Elias is ready for the challenges and opportunities ahead.
Example 4
Ballroom Dancing
Thomas L.
When the summer ended, I started my school year with a new perspective. I continued to pursue ballroom dancing and to enjoy new and perhaps less traditional avenues than my family had in mind. I developed an interest in photography; I joined the Gaming and Environmental clubs. I also took up a dance internship to perfect my choreography. Most importantly, I learned to balance my personal and academic lives. I kept focused on my studies and pursued my academic ambitions in the same way I dove into the new worlds blossoming around me. My parents had high expectations, but I learned to work with and not against that pressure.
The bachata is a dance performed by moving within a small square (side, side, forward, tap). As the dance progresses, the pace picks up, as does the rhythm. You leave your small square behind and you mark your path all around the room.
This conclusion stands out for several reasons:
1. Personal Growth and Self-Awareness: The opening sentence, “When the summer ended, I started my school year with a new perspective,” signals a clear transformation. Thomas reflects on how his experiences have shaped his mindset. This self-awareness shows maturity and a capacity for growth, which is key in a college admission essay.
2. Integration of Passion with Academics: The phrase, “I kept focused on my studies and pursued my academic ambitions in the same way I dived into the new worlds blossoming around me,” beautifully ties together Thomas' passion (dance) and his academic goals. It shows that he can balance multiple facets of his life without neglecting one for the other. This dual focus on both personal and academic pursuits is appealing to admissions committees, as it demonstrates well-roundedness and time management skills.
3. Personal Symbolism: The description of the bachata, a dance that starts small and evolves into something expansive, works as a metaphor for Thomas' personal journey. The dance represents his growth: starting with a small, traditional foundation and slowly stepping out of his comfort zone, just as he is expanding his boundaries in both personal and academic spheres.
4. Resolution and Harmony: The conclusion offers a sense of resolution. Thomas doesn’t just cope with his parents' expectations, but instead learns to “work with and not against that pressure.” This shows maturity in how he has learned to negotiate and create mutual respect with his family, signaling an ability to adapt and find harmony in challenging situations.
5. Vivid Imagery and Smooth Transition: The shift from talking about academic balance to the detailed explanation of the bachata is seamless. The bachata’s description is more than just a dance; it serves as a metaphor for Thomas' journey of personal growth, highlighting how he has gone beyond expectations and found a rhythm of his own.
In summary, this conclusion is great because it combines personal growth, balance, and cultural symbolism in a meaningful and reflective way. Thomas successfully integrates a passion (dance) into his academic narrative while showing maturity in managing family expectations. The metaphor of the bachata ties everything together, providing a strong, symbolic image of his journey and growth. It leaves a lasting impression of a self-aware, resilient, and balanced individual ready to embrace new challenges.